Belated Birthday

There was a HUGE parcel in the Triceratan Post today. It was tagged with "Happy Belated Birthday" and was addressed to all Triceratans. The first to discover it was the postman, who spent 5 hours trying to stuff the parcel into the mailbox. The next to discover it was a troop of Triceratan bears, who spent an hour to remove the parcel from the mailbox.

In no time, or rather 5 minutes, all Triceratans were gathered around the box. A few flying alarm clocks lifted the lid. And SUDDENLY there was a huge fat plump balloon rising into the air. Somehow, all Triceratans, including the not-so-light Triceratan bears, got stuck to the balloon! The huge balloon started to fly higher and higher and HIGHER. Everyone was having a great time until a flock of baby birds decided to peck at the balloon.

The balloon popped, and everyone fell, with a bit of balloon stuck on their back. Luckily, the bits of balloon made good parachutes, and everyone was floating back to the ground safely!

Now, I wonder who the parcel was from, because the postman didn't know either! D:

BIRTHDAY BASH

Today is the Triceratan League's first anniversary!!!!
There is a Birthday Bash going on at the Triceratan HQ! But they are not bashing up each other! Every single triceratan is attending this wonderful ceremony including the bears and rabbits and flock of baby birds and gobbly weiqi seeds!! It is the most wonderful time of the year!!!!!!!!!!!
(Christmas comes next! Stay tuned for Santa News!)

A question to avoid when making conversation

What do you do in your free time?

That question is extremely provocative as it questions the intelligence of the answerer. Obviously, doing something during your free time would defeat the purpose of it being free, so it is technically not possible to do something during free time.

Another question is "What do you use to make conversation?"
OBVIOUSLY IT'S CORN, i mean, it's CORNversation after all, right? Like, what else do you use?? Paprika?? Onion??

Your new philo passage: to say or not to say

Topic: To Say Or Not To Say?

Nowadays, there are many who like to tell others that they have nothing to
say, which defeats the purpose, because they have just said something, which is
that they have nothing to say. If they really had nothing to say,
they wouldn't even be saying anything. This logic has been proven in the
Campbell University of Creamy Corn and Mushwoom Soup in 2008.

When you say that you have nothing to say, you are then giving a false
statement and hence it is a waste of human resources to do so. Many people are
against this habit.

However, some people may argue that saying that you have nothing to say is
good, because it gives you at least SOMETHING to say when you really have
nothing ELSE to say. It is a good conversation tip. But then, would it not be
more correct to just say "I have nothing ELSE to say." instead of "I hve nothing
to say."?

But because you say "I have nothing ELSE to say.", you are wasting
human resources as it is one word more than "I have nothing to say.". Also,
saying "I have nothing ELSE to say." shows that you are ending the conversation
and hence the best phrase you should use should be "Bye.".

Please use the passage above to answer the following questions.
1. Identify at least 2 CORNfusion CORNcepts in this issue. Explain why they are what they are.
2. Produce (an) arguement(s) for the issues CORNcerned.
3. Evaluate your arguement(s).
4. Explain the evaluation of you arguement(s).

Source: http://www.CORNsoupisgoodforyouandmeandcampbelluni.com

_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)

Mobile Phone

You shouldn't be surprised if your phone starts jumping about one day as if it just ate 745 packets of sugar...because it's a mobile phone after all....and has to unleash its mobility some day...

Triceratan End of year examinations

It is the Triceratan End-of-Year examinations. Tomorrow there is the Math paper. Even worse is Mother Tongue, because it's the aftermath.

What do they do during examinations? They examine, of course! During Math, the Triceratans examine the numbers to make sure the decimals are in their correct places. And during Mother Tongue, they examine..erm..you can figure out for yourself.


bunny

things they would never say

some things that these ppl/things will NEVER say.

a silly CORN: i'm a potassium
a fire: i'm HOT (fires cant talk =.0)
the champion in the cat olympics: i hate chasing rats
the champion rat in the rat race: i love being eaten by cats
ZEE PREZIDENT OF ZONKONIA: i love Triceratan bears
flock of baby birds: mrieow. nyan~
the maker of the impossible quiz: actually, i dont know how to do these questions either...
Your best friend: I HATE YOU
the lyrics of "twinkle twinkle little star": I love you, you love me, we're a happy family...
a mute person: Hello

WHY DON'T YOU TRY ADD SOME OF YOURS TOO!!!???!!!??? :::DDD

Self Crashing Car
_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)

Beijing 2008

What do you call pigs whose names are Olympe??

scroll down.









Answer: Olympe. I bet you were thinking of something else. After all, if your name is Tom, we don't call you Tom Human. Too bad.

WORLD CORN DAY

Cornrection from the previous post! 30 October is WORLD (candy) CORN DAY!! HOORAY!! Be prepared for celebrations!!

IQ Test for All

Some warmups to start off.
1) What does the corn have in cornmon with the statue of liberty?
A: The Statue of Liberty was an iCORN of the country.

2) What did the students say when their corn teacher walked into the class?
A: Good Corning Mr Corn. (Good Morning, in case you didn't get it)

3) What did the corn do when his computer got stuck?
A: He pressed CORNtrol-Alternate-Delete.

Now for the IQ Question of the week.
WHAT DID THE CORN EAT FOR BREAKFAST?
(scroll down after you think you have your answer)







I bet your answer was something like
1) CORNflakes.
2) popCORN.





WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

The answer can be anything BUT anything corn-based.
You see, the Corn can eat bread, or chocolate, or chicken, or fluff or anything BUT CORNstuffs. That would be EXTREMELY CORNniballistic.
After all, humans eat anything but OTHER HUMANS. Am I right? So it would be extremely immoral and ridiculous for a Corn to eat something of his own kind. Now, give yourself a well-deserved pinch on the arm for even SUSPECTING the Corn of doing something so horrible, terrible and incornrigible. The Corn is very, very angry.
He hopes that everyone here has learnt a good lesson and will Corntinue to apply the macro-Corncept which they have learnt today, which is never to suspect innocent corns. Thank you. CORNbanwa.

() ()
(._.)
()_()
bunnywunnyeltee

On behalf of the corns of the world.

And we proclaim that 1 August shall be Corn Day. Corngratulations, Corns of the World!!




Thank you.

CORNpilation of corny stuff of Self-Crashing Car, bunnywunny and the Moose

There was a CORN in RGS. She loved learning Macro-CORNcepts and History, because she liked to CORNpare and CORNtrast. One day, she went for assembly. The CORNgress members talked about CORNtemplating choices of head prefects. It went home to CORNsider. In the end, it played its Xbox game CORNsole. It played and it lost. It was very sad so her mom CORNforted it. And then she was CORNtent. Then she realised that CORNtent came with CORNtext. It was really happy so it switched on the airCORN and cooked CORN soup. She poured the soup into a CORNcave bowl, then it was CORNfused about CORNcave and CORNvex. Suddenly, her mother CORNmanded CORNplete CORNtrol of her. She found the CORNmand CORNplex and so she CORNfronted her mother to repeat and explain. The CORN decided to go on a Mega Movie MaraCORN so she watched two movies CORNcurrently on two TVs. Soon, she was bored so she went a-strolling. While a-strolling and reading the CORNicles of Narnia, she was CORNered by a CORNman. The CORNman tried CORN her money. In the end, she kicked him and walked away CORNfidently. When she went to school, she found that she was highly recCORNmended to go for a business and CORNmerce exchange to China. The CORN was so shocked that it went blind. So it went for a CORNea implant/replacement surgery. So it became CORNier (cornier, cornea, hahaha) With increased quality of sight comes increased music power, so she started CORNposing songs. She got bored and hence took her Golden CORNpass out to guide her to the north, to her friend's house, where she played CORNnect Four. She flew to CORNnectticut, USA the next day. She went on a getaway car. She ate CORN chips (Orh hor, big bad CORNnibal) However she accidentally CORNmitted a crime and was CORNdemned to death. After its death, the CORN was put on the Christmas tree as a CORNament!

In case you were wondering how the corn died, it was CORNstipated.

THE cherry

One day, there are many cheery cherrys. What made the cherry THE cherry is that it wasn't cheery but instead was pure cherry. While other cheery cherrys moved on, THE cherry was not MOVING, which is abNORMAL for a cherrys. Cherrys should be cheery and moving.

THE cherry finally got its punishment.

I walked up to it and ATEED it.

At least it TASTED like a cherrys, although it was nothing near bouncing cheery cherrys. (this is redundant but cheery cherrys like redundants)

~*Self Crashing Car*~

The Legendary Statement

The statement, 1+1=2, is, unfortunately, a legend. Now, bunnywunny and self-crashing car shall tell you why.

Fine, 1 grain of sand+ 1 grain of sand= 2 grains of sand. 1+1=2.

But, 1 pile of sand+ 1 pile of sand= still 1 pile of sand. 1+1=1.

Furthermore, 1 pile of sand+ 1 hole= ZERO. 1+1=0.

What does that tell you? Do not believe everything you hear.

The Magician

Once upon a time, there IS a magician. People love to sneak in and steal his face cream because his face cream was special. It was white. Normally, face cream was blue or purple. People believed his white face cream would give them pure white smooth ______(fill in a ton of other adjectives) skin. So they loved to steal his face cream.

The magician, who had pure white smooth _______ skin, was annoyed. He decided to stop people from stealing his precious face cream. He created magic bricks and stuck them to the wall. Whenever someone tried to climb over the wall, the bricks would scream upon contact and the thief would scream too and there would be a great din of screaming and people would rush out to see what the din was about and the thief could not steal the face cream. The end

() ()
(._.)
()_()
bunnywunnyeltee

Sock Wugglers

Recently, Sock Wugglers are on the loose, together with Elliot Moose. They like to surprise you by creeping down your socks. But don't worry! Pull your socks high to prevent them.

You see, Sock Wugglers are short, and Elliot Moose is fat. We do not know how they managed to be on the loose, but anyway they are so BE CAREFUL. Pull your socks HIGH UP so Sock Wugglers can't get to them. I doubt Elliot Moose can jump because he's too fat, so you'll be safe with high socks.

There are also precautions against a time when Elliot Moose goes on a diet. He might jump. Read Bedtime Sox for more tricks and tips to prevent Sock Wugglers and Elliot Moose.

Thankew

Self Crashing Car

Today is Mother's Day

According to the press, the Mama shop was extremely crowded today.

ST
Mime?

Model Answers

Here are the model answers from one of our top students. It has done the source A questions. Here's question a:

From the source, I can infer that the bunnywunny's fur is shake-coloured.

In the source, the bunnywunny "*Shakes head in despair*". this shows that the bunnywunny's head is shake-coloured, and hence its fur should also be of the the same colour. However, this can only be a assumption.

The bunnywunny could also possibly be house-coloured. As mentioned in source A, the bunnywunny goes to its house, while others "go home". As the bunnywunny is unique and different from the rest, we can therefore infer that it is house-coloured.

In conclusion, the bunnywunny could possibly be shake-coloured, house-coloured, not-coloured, changing-coloured, or even another colour.

Wasn't that great? Here's question b:

Source A is useless to a large extent in telling us Homer Simpson's favourite food.

Source A only tells us that Homer Simpson likes home. However, from my past knowledge, Homer Simpson also likes burgers, fries, burgers, pig, burgers, pancakes and mee siam. Source A does not mention any of those.

Cross referencing to Source B (???), it tells us that Homer Simpson also like to eat burgers. This is also not mentioned in Source A.

Therefore, we can conclude that Source A is useless to a large extent in telling us Homer Simpson's favourite food.

I bet you learnt a lot from this! Sponsored by Waffles Skool of History and Homer Studies.

Self Crashing Car
_/TTT\_
l_@_@_ l
(beep)

Influence of Homer Simpson

Source A
This is an extract taken from an entry of a bunnywunny.
The influence of Homer Simpson is spreading throughout the world. Look at all those Homer Simpsons saying they Go Home, Are Going Home, Want to Go Home, or Are At Home. *Shakes head in despair*
Obviously, it is the influence of Homer Simpson. At least I haven't been influenced by Homer Simpson. I don't go home.
I only go to my house.

Yours sadly,
Bunnywunny

------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Source A:
a) What does the source tell you about the colour of the fur of the bunnywunny?
b) How useless is the source in telling you about Homer Simpson's favourite food?

-The End-

Formulaes are good

Hello. Formulaes are good. they are not what you think they are. Formulaes are different from formulae. Here's a few good formulaes:

 

1) Fish+Obama=Nutmeg

2) High+Low=Hot Potato

3) 1+1=Giraffe fishery

4) Hippo+Hippo=476xyz(giraffery)

5) tada+backspace=(=)

6) laff+marble=aquafire

 

Here's a more complex one especially for you!

 

2x+2x=Rhino, therefore fishery=x=3bucks=otah

so, we can conclude that x=sushi, y=sashimi, z=wasabi, and 8)=geographic looking animations

 

wasnt that enlightening? better ones are of course kept in the Triceratan Research In Countries' Environment Rearing And Teeth And Nothing (TRICERATAN) database. boo. are you inspired to be a formulaesist now? 8)

New Means of Transport

A Triceratan Bear had found the end of a rainbow. So, he walked onto the rainbow. He walked, and he walked. He could not find the other end. Just then, the rainbow got a message that it was needed elsewhere, so it curled up and whizzed off, with the Triceratan Bear on it. The Bear had discovered a new means of transport to Timbuktu.

For your information, the Bear was spotted on his way back to Triceratan Island on an Aqua-friendly Giraffe.


() ()
(._.)
()_()
bunnywunnyeltee

Sarbowls

Researchers have recently discovered the Sarbowl. It is originated from the evolution of a Sardine Can to a Toilet Bowl, but errors occured and it got stuck halfway in the middle. It is a permanent error. The Sarbowl has the characteristics of both a Sardine Can and a Toilet Bowl. The reporters have been trying to take a snapshot of it, but whenever they whip out their cameras, a flurry of sardines whirr out from the Sarbowl and make themselves comfy on the lens of the camera.


() ()
(._.)
()_()
bunnywunnyeltee

Happy April Fools

Happy April Fools. haha happy April fools you got tricked coz it's not April fools' today.

 

have you pranked anyone yet? that iwwitating stalker? that annoying geylang cheap HDB agent? that (un)pokish MIO? if not, you can always do it later. like in december. prank your fwens during christmas and shout to them: HAPPY DECEMBER APRIL FOOLS or HAPPY BELATED APRIL FOOLS or HAPPY EVERYDAY IS APRIL FOOLS!

 

still not happy? do a every _(fill in time period)_ April fools joke! ran out of ideas? feel free to come here to ask for pranks and jokes. (u can offer to buy all the geylang HDB flats for 1 rupee[idea of moose])

 

how about giving a fake sloppy birthday card[idea of bunnywunny]? or hide your fren's rice and pretend that she never bot it so she would panic[MEAN idea of self crashing car]? for more ideas, stay tuned.

 

_/TTT\_

l_@_@_l

   (beep)

Self Crashing Car

NONSENSE

Guess what... THE KT-SSS is back!!!

with long-awaited thankkews to her BELOVED triceratan for increasing her NQ (nonsense quotient) during her birthday :D

She didn't realise that she has, subconsciously, a very high NQ of 150, because she said:

"If you drink like that, your teeth will taste the paper."

==== I ====
^
the KT-SSS :D

the triceratan languages

our first language is nonsensing. every triceratan should learn this by heart, and it should come out easier than anything in the world + universe.

our second language is poking. thou shalt not grow unpokish or u will suffer from the consequences. it should come out easier than chinese.

our third lang is either mushwawallixus, mio-ing, or nose honking. the student has a choice, but he/she/it may take more than one language at a time. these should come out easier than jap, french, or german.

we have many more languages, but currently, these are the most common triceratan languages. if you have any queries or want to take more languages, pls contact us at triceratan@gmail.com or you can visit www.motelc.gov.trcrtn

the ministry of triceratan education language centre will gladly answer your questions. gladly.

Pi Day

Today is the fourteenth of March, Pi Day! A Pi-Reciting Competition was held in the Triceratan Square. There were close to one thousand participants. However, only one participant really participated, or is participating, because he has been reciting pi from the wee hours of the morning till now.


() ()
(._.)
()_()
bunny
wunny

recent escape

the recent escape of a great terrorist, moose slimet (coff coff), has shaken the nation greatly. but lets hear the nation's geat confidence for the triceratan police force!

reporter: so mr scuba, what are your views on the recent escape of ***? are u confident that we can gope him back?
mr scuba: huh? wad ***? who is that? i now go buying pineapple tarts. BYEBYE.

there we have! a great triceratan still enjoying life! get on with life! we will GOPE ***! now, we shall ask mrs vandejee!

reporter: what are your views on the recent escape of ***? are u confident that we can gope him back?
mrs vandajee: i am worried about my daughter! she iz studeeng nearby! i am bringing her home now and locking up the house. no one is to go out! ve vill stay home votch tv!

there you have! another confident triceratan, enjoying life at home watching tv! no one is worried about ***. we will GOPE ***! now, lets interview the head of the triceratan association of manhunt and evacuation(TAME).

reporter: so, about the manhunt...what have u done so far?
head: we haf sercht orll the toilet cubicles in here except one cubicle which haz bin occupied since wenzdey 4pm.
reporter: so, how do you know he's not taking an extra long time?
head: we know one la. our toilet how we don't know?
reporter: have you taken any precautions so as to prevent future escapes?
head: got. we will never allow cwiminers to go toilet. we will provide them with die-pers.

there you have it! another great triceratan. most probably you get to see them again in the centannial triceratan prize giving ceremony...if they are alive.

Self Crashing Car
_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)

new moose disease

lately, there has been...a new moose disease...

the poor victim...the moose...(only 2 meese in this whole wide world can get it)...will turn unpokish! the poor meese will fall out of society as poking is the main communication in the Triceratan world. note that Triceratan is the only word i capitalise properly in the whole thingum. i too, am a moose. as u can see now, the effects of this new disease has turned my langwidge wonkey. donkey. gasp as u may, june, july, sharon, priscilla, tan, loh, ong, whatever! we must not discriminate the meese! we shld understand that this is a disease, not dao-ing. neither is it emo-ing, thank you.

so, dr triceradoc has kindly volunteered himself to try to treat the poor meese. the treatment costs a lot. but he has kindly spared us of all costs under the pressure of ze prezident of zonkonia and hiz rolling fleaz, of which ze prezident iz afraid of ze bearz we haz. thatz y we meese get free treatment. you see the cycle? prezident scared of Triceratan. but triceradoc scared of ze fleaz. but prezident scared of triceratan. coz hiz pineapple tarts disappeared much more faster than usual becoz of Triceratans. therefore we are at advantage, coz our bears are better than hiz fleaz, who merely drown when the bears dive. voila!

now, lets do this together! link moose, meese, fleas, doctor, Triceratan, zonkonia and prezident. what do u get? this storee.

Self Crashing Car
_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)

Scuba-Species

Lately there have been many Scuba-Animals spotted in the waters of the Great Bloopbloop Lake. They go everywhere with their huge goggles and flippers, and oxygen tank and mask. They swim and dive very well. It is unknown if they are born with their swimming gear or if they just purchase their gear from the nearby provision shop.

Species spotted:
Scuba-Duck
Scuba-Bunny
Scuba-Sheep




() ()
(._.)
()_()
bunnywunnyeltee

Bean Bear Boggart

the bean bear boggart thinks that everyone is most scared of mr bean's teddy bear. but don't worry if you're really scared of bean bears! these wonky boggarts dont know how to become a bean bear! there are a few rare cases where it is correct, but in other cases, buttons are usually placed in wrong places. like the ear or hand. or even everywhere.

So beware. but do play with it and reward it if it looks correct. dangle it around and dance the mr bean dance with it! you may also download the soundtrack to dance to. just triceroogle it! yay!

_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)
SELF CRASHING CAR (BLACK)

Mime?

Mimes are cute, but destructive. They like to be the center of attraction.

ST
(>_<)"
Mime?

Falling oranges

On new year's eve, the bunny wunny was feeling extremely rich and bought a crate of 1000000000 oranges from the emo bear. The emo bear was so down in the dumps that it started pelting the oranges at itself. So the bunny wunny was doing it and the oranges a favour. The bunny wunny loaded the oranges into its helicopter started the engine. The bunnywunny waved to the emo bear who was too busy emo-ing again to see it. Suddenly, the helicopter started swaying dangerously in midair and one of the windows in the helicopter shattered. The sacks holding the oranges broke and oranges started tumbling out of the window, onto the ground below. The oranges had landed on a television aerial. Skewered oranges and orange pulp. Fortunately, the Triceratan folk placed trampolines from the Triceratan gymnasium all over town. The oranges bounced up into the air and only got slightly bruised. Thus the Triceratan folk managed to save the oranges. HOORAY!


Milo mooooooose!
[How do you draw a moose?]

Presidential Encounter

Now, does anyone remember the annoying President of Zonkonia?
On New Years Day, he opened the giant white front door of his giant white house and discovered a giant red angpow in front of his giant white front door of his giant white house. He cautiously opened the giant red angpow and immediately a giant flock of baby birds charged out peeping loudly. The baby birds swarmed into the president's house. They spotted a giant white bathtub and they eagerly filled up the tub with themselves. no matter how much the president shooed, they would not leave. The President of Zonkonia gave up and went to eat his giant white box of pineapple tarts instead.

() ()
(._.)
()_()
bunnywunny

the Flock of Baby Birds

One day, the flock of baby birds decided to go and Bai Nian to the Triceratan Bears. They all swooped down to the door at once, eager to be the first to be sighted, admired and rewarded (with ang pows). They made a giant hole in the door. The Bears kept the ang-pow money for door repair. the end. but. Since the Birds were not going to get any ang-pow anyway, they decided that it wouldn't hurt to drill another hole in the door. Soon, it was no longer a door with holes but a hole with door. The Triceratan Bears decided it would be much more convenient for their gigantic selves to get through without a door (or a hole with door) and so they didn't need to repair the door. So, the flock of Baby Birds still got their ang-pow money so their hard work drilling the door paid off. the end. and the Bears never got stuck in the doorway again. the end.


() ()
(._.)
()_()
bunnywunny

how to detect a emo bear

how to detect an emo bear. if u do, NEVER approach or go near it. if it attempts to shorten the distance between it and you, maintain a balance of 'yin' and 'yang' by backing towards the opposite direction, preferably slightly faster than the hazardous object. When a comfortable distance away from the emo bear, you are advised to run immediately AWAY from the bear.

Here’s how to detect an emo bear. You can by its speech: “Go away, don’t talk to me”; “Don’t say my name unnecessarily”; “life is a big ball of crap”; “my name’s not (insert self’s name here)”; “I’m not friending you”; “I’m gonna chop myself”

you can also by its actions: (attempts to chop oneself); (attempts to cry at everything); (cries at everything); (cries); (becomes a self butcher); (shrieks shrilly when they cry)...etc.etc.

WARNING: in case you come in contact with an emo bear, please, do the opposite of the above to prevent the spread of the emo virus. THE ABOVE IS THE ONLY CURE! so do it or die of suicide/self butchering.

~*self crashing car*~
_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)

Unusual Guard Sighted

One day, a bunnywunny went to the Triceratan Hospital to take a blood type test. After it was done, it sat goodly on a bench just outside the hospital. It noticed a guard in a formal suit and tie strutting around. Just then, a billowy fat long plastic bag flew out of a taxi. It rustled around noisily. The guard continued strutting, purposely not making eye contact with the plastic bag. Just as he stopped strutting and was standing straight, trying to look cool, the plastic bag rustled again and rested on his feet. He was annoyed, but tried not to show it. He moved aside.
A while later, the plastic bag decided it liked the look of the guard and rustled onto his feet while he was strutting. However, the guard did not share the same opinion. Annoyed, he gave the plastic bag a hard kick. The paper bag persisted and returned to him. Extremely irritated, the guard gave up. However, he did not give up on acting cool. using one foot(in a shiny black shoe), he kicked and scuffed the plastic bag as he walked. He stopped at a flowerpot and shoved the plastic bag behind the flowerpot with his foot when he could have just picked it up and thrown it away in the first place.
The bunnywunny giggled.

~bunnywunny's true experience

The Self Crashing Car

One day, the self crashing car crashed into pink paint. it turned pink. yuck. but it is mentioned after that that it crashed with 2 triceracudae and turned blue and brown. later on, bunny wunny insisted(still) that it was pink. it was very offended, but no, NOT EMO. so it crashed into black paint(not an act of suicide from emo-ing, in the first place there was no emo-ing) and turned completely BLACK, not leaving any pink spots. so, IMMA BLACK, NOT PINK.

bunny wunny if you continue to insist that i am pink, pls eat more carrot. if not, please visit nanyang optical for a new pair of glasses. i am sure they have a bright pink one.

Mickey

Once upon a time, which is now, there is a Mickey Bunny. It hops away in search of Mickey Mouse. Finally, it meets the great Mickey Mouse.

Mickey Bunny: Hi, Mic!

Mickey Mouse: Hi, Mic! Why are you a bunny? Why are you not a mouse?

Mickey Bunny: Who said Mickey had to be a Mouse? It could be Mickey Goat, Mickey Bear, Mickey Cat, Mickey Pig, Mickey Goose, Mickey Flea--

Mickey Mouse: Okay. I get the point.

Adventure Of a Clam

"Sam I am," said the Clam. Bam! He swam into a dam. "Damn the dam!" shrieked the clam. "No cursing, Clam!" scolded Ma'am. The Clam spat phlegm on Ma'am.

._. bunnywunny ._.

GONG!

one day the self crashing car crashed into a wall purposely. it went bad and weird and began acting nice. everyone freaked out becoz it was supposed to be mean and crash everyone, but it did not. so the emobear was very sad. it decided to commit suicide in the self crashing car. the emo bear drove the self crashing car into a wall. ouch, went both of them. the emobear became not emo and the self crashing car became mean again. the end.

(applaud for one less emobear in the world. 999999999999999.........more to go. official royal work to be done by the self crashing car, aka ME!)

Emobear

Emobears love nagging about the meaning of life. Every two seconds, they sing an emo song and accompany it with an Emo dance. Silly ol' Emobear. Triceratan Bears and Bear Acudae cannot stand them.

how ii became triceracuda

one day i was sitting in my rocking chair eating triceratan gummy bearries and drinking toilet cleaner. two triceracudas approached me out of nowhere. i choked on my toilet cleaner and spat out a few drops on the 2 triceracudas. they were angry. uh oh.

they wiped the toilet cleaner on me. some of their blue and brown dye came off, and it stuck on me. i was horrified and went to wash the dye off. it would not drop. so i decided i should be a triceracuda. i was glad i made that choice coz i realised when i looked in the mirror that i WAS a triceracuda coz i was somewhat blue and brown.

SELF CRASHING CAR
_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)

Part VII: How This Got Here

“So that is the story,” said Mrs Rose calmly. Dr Sank snored on. Mrs Rose cleared her throat rather loudly and obviously purposely. Dr Sank woke up with a start. “Uh?” Dr Sank sat up groggily. “What la, Mrs Rose?” He stood up and swayed from side to side. He raised his arms and went, “I am Triceratan Bear. Here me rawr. Rawr rawr very scary run run!”

Mrs Rose growled at Dr Sank. Our reporter looked at them, amused. As she was going to turn to go, then Mrs Rose suddenly said curtly, “You there, reporter! I want my story published. You recorded it, didn’t you?” Our reporter turned around. She nodded dutifully.

Mrs Rose continued, “My story is the greatest story about friendship ever. I must have it published, even if at the cost of killing zee Prezident of that what zonkywonky place. Just publish it.” Our reporter nodded again. “And,” Mrs Rose said again. Our reporter nodded. “You must put it in the BEST newspapers and magazines. You must use the BEST font!” Our reporter nodded. “Yes that’s the way to answer me. Nod! Nod more nod heartily nod vigorously!” Our reporter nodded.

When our reporter left the scene, her head was in her hands. She had over-nodded and it had dropped off and she didn’t have any glue with her so she just had to carry it. Actually she had double-sided tape, but she decided that it was not biodegradable and hence was harmful to her poor head. So she just carried it with her, snuggled up warmly in her arms.

So here is the story you just read, at the cost of our dear reporter’s head. We sincerely apologise that no lives nor blood nor heads were lost in the production of this story. Several scenes have been cut off as the language of Mrs Rose might offend a certain Prezident of that what zonkywonky place.


SELF CRASHING CAR
_/TTT\_
_@_@_
(beep)

Part VI: Foreign Visitors in the Ship

We slept for a long long time. I really do not know exactly how long it was. Then I heard the door of out room open. I stretched, yawned, and slowly opened my eyes. I saw many other of my room mates doing the same. Refreshed and very excited, I looked around curiously to find the source of new life that woke us all up.

Horror. I saw a tall figure standing at the doorway holding up a torn door. He wore weird goggles and a funny tight seemingly waterproof suit. Not to mention that he was horribly skinny. So skinny that 10 of him could make one of me. And he wasn’t nice, furry and cuddly like I was. Besides, he didn’t wear branded goggles nor swimming trunks like we Triceratan Bears did. So we all looked at him innocently, not knowing whether we should move or not.

Finally, the stick man declared, “We are Triceratan explorers who have come to explore our explorations…er…hello?” We continued to stare. Then the stick man continued, “Er…so do anyone of you know how to open the other doors? Like that one.” Then he pointed to afar where more stick men were trying to open a door. They were tugging at the door of the other room which contained more of us, Triceratan Bears.

Being kind, we snorted out the spell that could reverse the spell, and we even flicked our paws in a synchronised manner to show the spell movements. The stick man looked puzzled. He went “tsk”, and slammed the broken door on us. Now, we were angry, so we went to the room where the gobbly weiqi seeds slept in peace. We waved our paws in a synchronised manner and ‘BUCSH!’ the door fell out.

The gobbly weiqi seeds started to shake, then they jumped out. They rushed out of the room, turned sharply, and went after the stick men while making chomping actions with their jaws. We all laughed loudly at the stick men while they ran desperately away from the gobbly weiqi seeds. Then we realised. The spell put on the Triceraship to seal the water out was still there. Hurray! We are not drowned, and we are happy!

We Triceratan Bears are kind hearted. So we went to every door and unlocked them! Yay all of us are freed! Healthy happy flappy bears!


SELF CRASHING CAR
_/TTT\_
_@_@_
(beep)