Zonkonia

Zonkonia, the nearest planet from Triceratan Island. Haven't you always wanted to know what it looks like? Since cameras haven't been invented yet, I've drawn a picture of it for you! Here it is!

As you may all know, the president of Zonkonia is a rather spoilt brat and a wet blanket, you might be wondering why the place still looks so colorful and cheery. However, that is because the residents aren't like the president. See if you can guess where the president lives and works.

Ans: See the black tube on the top left? That is his office, he works in the tube itself...it's black and boring. And you see the bowling ball on top? Technically it was just a normal ball till one day he threw a tantrum. He didn't just throw a tantrum...he also threw 3 pairs of scissors up in his rage...so you can guess how the ball became a bowling ball.

~Mickeymouse

Clouds

Sometimes, you find you're in a bad mood, but no matter how much you think about it, you can't exactly find the root of the problem.
I CAN TELL YOU WHAT IT IS!!

IT'S A DARK CLOUD. It follows people silently when they are bored and linger above people's heads. They transmit certain neutrons and make you become really bad-tempered and your heart feels like a heavy stone.

How to get rid of it? You get one of those pea-shooters, then you can buy Kokonuts from the Triceramart. Use the pea-shooters to shoot the Kokonuts at the cloud, and you will hear a crunching sound...(Kokocrunch) and then it'll start raining. (Ya'noe, kinda like cloud seeding in China) Get an umbrella ready. Furthermore, the rain is black since it's a dark cloud so don't wear your best suit when you do this. Have fun!

~bunnywunnyelteethemickeymouse

Absol Master reports

The Absol Master makes her self-introduction with her very first post.

I have decided to move my house here. Yes, to Triceratan Island. And guess why--I couldn't help but be attracted by its wonderful smell. Yes, the smell--never noticed it before? You know, the instant I smelt it, I knew I was in love!

Oh, what does your island smell like, you ask? Why, it smells like the air-CORN starting up, of course, and I positively adore that scent! You should make a perfume with your island's air--take your bottles outdoors, cap them, and ship them off to other countries! Air-corn in a bottle! Awesome revenue source for the economy, you know.

Soooo...today was my first day as an official citizen of Triceratan Island. And guess what! The first thing you people did to me when I passed through your airport customs was GIVE ME A PAIR OF BEARS! A PEAR OF BAIRS! Can you believe that? The person stamped my passport--then some people jumped out of the scanning machine and just stuffed them into my arms and the bears started licking me and I dropped my only piece of luggage, which contains my entire house! Fragile, you know!

Well, it wasn't unwelcome. These are some lovely bears you've got. But the SHOCK! The SHOCK!


I think I'm going to enjoy myself here. Well, excellent welcome, my friends...now to get all this fur out of my shirt. I hope you have chickens and pigeons such as these

around here.

(Shall I require a signature? Well here be it:)

A B S O L M A S T E R

~HOHOHO Christmas FAQ~

Merry Christmas, fellow Triceratans! It's finally Christmas!

before you have your nice big turkey feast, you might have read Xmas fact #1 about the mistletoe.
then, you might have some questions. For example, you might ask:

So I hang up my turkey and stand under it if I want to eat it right?
NO. the thing about turkey is that it's part of the feast. Mistletoe is only a bite-size snack hung around the house for your guests' convenience and entertainment. besides, turkey stuffing and juice would drip all over your head, and then you would not be eating the turkey anymore. it would be dripping all over you.

That's simple. Why don't just use a plate so the turkey won't drip?
Of course, that is why the turkey is put on a plate! And that is why the turkey should remain on the table.

Huh? Just hang the turkey and the plate together la!
That, my friend, is only possible if you attach the turkey firmly to the plate, preferably by epoxy glue, or E6000. But if that is the case, you would not be able to eat the turkey, as it is glued to the plate.

Now, stop being all serious with the questions. Hurry up and get yourself together and be silly before your relatives come over to your house and you embarrass yourself by being serious!

~Self Crashing Car~
_/TTT\_
|_@_@_|
(beep)

Christmas fact #1

Hello fello Triceratan-os! It's CHRISTMAS EVE EVE EVE!! Aren't you excited?
Today, we are going to share a funfact about a traditional Christmas thing to do

STANDING UNDER THE MISTLETOE

why do people stand under the mistletoe? what do they do under the mistletoe?
very simple! they eat the mistletoe! i bet you didnt know that!
you see, if someone stands under an apple tree, he is either there for the shade, to eat apples, or he is Newton.
since the mistletoe is too small for shade, and Newton is dead, they are, of course, for eating.

so next time you see mistletoe, do not hesitate to grab some to eat!

Self Crashing Car
_/TTT\_
|_@_@_|
(beep)

New Triceratans!

I am proud to introduce our two new members, Tessa (absol master) and Hui Ting! As a welcome gift, they may choose to accept two Triceratan Bears each. We look forward to their contributions in Triceratan Island and beyond!

Holes

A new shop has opened on Triceratan Island, about 5min walk away from Bear Acuda Hideout!! It specialises in selling HOLES!!! Haven't you heard countless of people wishing and yearning to "go hide themselves in a hole" when they are embarrassed? Or when being scolded by 3 teachers at once, didn't you just wish a hole would appear in front of you and swallow you up? Or, in times of crisis, when you are trapped underground or locked in a room, don't you wish you could punch a hole through the wall??

Here it is!! But even better!!! The holes don't swallow you up; you think of where you want to go, you jump into the hole and you get transported to the place (Though I wouldn't use them unless absolutely necessary, what if the thought of elephants suddenly appeared in my head? I don't think I can control that).

The shop owner, who is a Holy Cheese, will take some measurements to determine which size hole would fit you best when escaping. You will also have to purchase the Special Box to contain the hole in it or if you place it in your pocket, the hole might grow fond of your pocket and decide to stay there (as a hole in your pocket).

To use the hole, you open the box and grab the hole (it will squirm a little). Firmly throw it onto the ground and jump in before the hole disappears. Holes are one-time use, but once you have your sizes, you can keep going back to purchase more of the same size.

Researchers are currently developing invisible holes which would allow one to spy on others through walls without being seen. These holes do not work on bathroom walls.

~bunnywunnyeltee

Don't Think Of Elephants

Here is a test that no human will be able to pass as long as they understand the question!
Would you like to try?

Here is the one and only question....All you have to do is to heed what it asks for.

1. Don't Think Of Elephants.











BORH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BING BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *insert more dramatic disaster noises*

FAIL!

Brought to you by
() ()
(-.-)
()_()
bunnywunnyeltee

the need to change your underwear

Tragedy!!!

The Triceratan Bears on the beach have decided to change their swimming trunks because they were starting to get too salty from the seawater! :O

Thousand of bears went to Bun Paradise to get new swimming trunks...

Do YOU need to change your swimming trunks too? Here are some that our reporter recommends:

THE Swimming Trunk - i don't see what use this is and how you wear it. it's just this box thing with a lock. and it looks like it's got spasms on the shelf. It's supposed to swim when you put it in water, but i really don't think i want to try it out. but it's interesting though. and cheap. it's neutral and not salty. definitely worth the buy!

Holy Goggles - i know i'm supposed to recommend swimming trunks, but this is REALLY worth the buy too! These googles are so holy, they let in (holy) water! (Holy) Water in your eyes! How awesome and creative is that! I've NEVER seen any goggles let water in before! Ingenious!

Duck Swimming Trunks - you dont need to buy flippers anymore! 8D These ducks literally swim for you! Wear them and never worry about drowning! Don't even think that they'll ever become salty, because ducks don't live in salty water.

Tree Trunk - the perfect trunk for any day! It even floats on water! Warning: a bit rough.

Elephant Trunks - my personal favourite! this one is fun! YAY for elephant trunks that act like water guns! Squirt all that salt water out so your swimming trunks will NEVER become salty! Alas, this only comes in sizes XXXL, XXXXL, XXXXXL, and XObese.

if you ever go to bun paradise, check thse out! and remember to buy a few baos so that you can stick them on your head to maximise your intelligence.

_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)

NO!

Imagine if everytime you said "NO" your hairstyle changed. Imagine yourself standing in front of the mirror saying NONONONONNOO and one second your hair's short and nerdy, the next you grow thick golden locks, next you turn bald, etcetc. Best of all in class, your teacher says "Class, is one plus one three?" the whole class says "NO!" and there is a gigantic BOOM sound and everyone's hair changes. Or, if you're getting scolded and the scolder(?) says "There will be NO More of this NOnsense" and her hair changes so you just laugh. And imagine everytime your hair style changes the old hair actually doesn't disappear, it flies off as a bunch to be exchanged with someone else who said "No" at the same time as you. So if you're from Singapore and the other fateful person who said No at the same time as you is from Germany, you could just cling on to the old wig/hair and you get free transport to Germany.

Belated Birthday

There was a HUGE parcel in the Triceratan Post today. It was tagged with "Happy Belated Birthday" and was addressed to all Triceratans. The first to discover it was the postman, who spent 5 hours trying to stuff the parcel into the mailbox. The next to discover it was a troop of Triceratan bears, who spent an hour to remove the parcel from the mailbox.

In no time, or rather 5 minutes, all Triceratans were gathered around the box. A few flying alarm clocks lifted the lid. And SUDDENLY there was a huge fat plump balloon rising into the air. Somehow, all Triceratans, including the not-so-light Triceratan bears, got stuck to the balloon! The huge balloon started to fly higher and higher and HIGHER. Everyone was having a great time until a flock of baby birds decided to peck at the balloon.

The balloon popped, and everyone fell, with a bit of balloon stuck on their back. Luckily, the bits of balloon made good parachutes, and everyone was floating back to the ground safely!

Now, I wonder who the parcel was from, because the postman didn't know either! D:

BIRTHDAY BASH

Today is the Triceratan League's first anniversary!!!!
There is a Birthday Bash going on at the Triceratan HQ! But they are not bashing up each other! Every single triceratan is attending this wonderful ceremony including the bears and rabbits and flock of baby birds and gobbly weiqi seeds!! It is the most wonderful time of the year!!!!!!!!!!!
(Christmas comes next! Stay tuned for Santa News!)

A question to avoid when making conversation

What do you do in your free time?

That question is extremely provocative as it questions the intelligence of the answerer. Obviously, doing something during your free time would defeat the purpose of it being free, so it is technically not possible to do something during free time.

Another question is "What do you use to make conversation?"
OBVIOUSLY IT'S CORN, i mean, it's CORNversation after all, right? Like, what else do you use?? Paprika?? Onion??

Your new philo passage: to say or not to say

Topic: To Say Or Not To Say?

Nowadays, there are many who like to tell others that they have nothing to
say, which defeats the purpose, because they have just said something, which is
that they have nothing to say. If they really had nothing to say,
they wouldn't even be saying anything. This logic has been proven in the
Campbell University of Creamy Corn and Mushwoom Soup in 2008.

When you say that you have nothing to say, you are then giving a false
statement and hence it is a waste of human resources to do so. Many people are
against this habit.

However, some people may argue that saying that you have nothing to say is
good, because it gives you at least SOMETHING to say when you really have
nothing ELSE to say. It is a good conversation tip. But then, would it not be
more correct to just say "I have nothing ELSE to say." instead of "I hve nothing
to say."?

But because you say "I have nothing ELSE to say.", you are wasting
human resources as it is one word more than "I have nothing to say.". Also,
saying "I have nothing ELSE to say." shows that you are ending the conversation
and hence the best phrase you should use should be "Bye.".

Please use the passage above to answer the following questions.
1. Identify at least 2 CORNfusion CORNcepts in this issue. Explain why they are what they are.
2. Produce (an) arguement(s) for the issues CORNcerned.
3. Evaluate your arguement(s).
4. Explain the evaluation of you arguement(s).

Source: http://www.CORNsoupisgoodforyouandmeandcampbelluni.com

_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)

Mobile Phone

You shouldn't be surprised if your phone starts jumping about one day as if it just ate 745 packets of sugar...because it's a mobile phone after all....and has to unleash its mobility some day...

Triceratan End of year examinations

It is the Triceratan End-of-Year examinations. Tomorrow there is the Math paper. Even worse is Mother Tongue, because it's the aftermath.

What do they do during examinations? They examine, of course! During Math, the Triceratans examine the numbers to make sure the decimals are in their correct places. And during Mother Tongue, they examine..erm..you can figure out for yourself.


bunny

things they would never say

some things that these ppl/things will NEVER say.

a silly CORN: i'm a potassium
a fire: i'm HOT (fires cant talk =.0)
the champion in the cat olympics: i hate chasing rats
the champion rat in the rat race: i love being eaten by cats
ZEE PREZIDENT OF ZONKONIA: i love Triceratan bears
flock of baby birds: mrieow. nyan~
the maker of the impossible quiz: actually, i dont know how to do these questions either...
Your best friend: I HATE YOU
the lyrics of "twinkle twinkle little star": I love you, you love me, we're a happy family...
a mute person: Hello

WHY DON'T YOU TRY ADD SOME OF YOURS TOO!!!???!!!??? :::DDD

Self Crashing Car
_/TTT\_
l_@_@_l
(beep)

Beijing 2008

What do you call pigs whose names are Olympe??

scroll down.









Answer: Olympe. I bet you were thinking of something else. After all, if your name is Tom, we don't call you Tom Human. Too bad.

WORLD CORN DAY

Cornrection from the previous post! 30 October is WORLD (candy) CORN DAY!! HOORAY!! Be prepared for celebrations!!

IQ Test for All

Some warmups to start off.
1) What does the corn have in cornmon with the statue of liberty?
A: The Statue of Liberty was an iCORN of the country.

2) What did the students say when their corn teacher walked into the class?
A: Good Corning Mr Corn. (Good Morning, in case you didn't get it)

3) What did the corn do when his computer got stuck?
A: He pressed CORNtrol-Alternate-Delete.

Now for the IQ Question of the week.
WHAT DID THE CORN EAT FOR BREAKFAST?
(scroll down after you think you have your answer)







I bet your answer was something like
1) CORNflakes.
2) popCORN.





WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

The answer can be anything BUT anything corn-based.
You see, the Corn can eat bread, or chocolate, or chicken, or fluff or anything BUT CORNstuffs. That would be EXTREMELY CORNniballistic.
After all, humans eat anything but OTHER HUMANS. Am I right? So it would be extremely immoral and ridiculous for a Corn to eat something of his own kind. Now, give yourself a well-deserved pinch on the arm for even SUSPECTING the Corn of doing something so horrible, terrible and incornrigible. The Corn is very, very angry.
He hopes that everyone here has learnt a good lesson and will Corntinue to apply the macro-Corncept which they have learnt today, which is never to suspect innocent corns. Thank you. CORNbanwa.

() ()
(._.)
()_()
bunnywunnyeltee

On behalf of the corns of the world.

And we proclaim that 1 August shall be Corn Day. Corngratulations, Corns of the World!!




Thank you.